So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
