last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
