he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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