I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
