If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
