He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
