you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
