Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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