i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
