if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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