If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
