i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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