so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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