I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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