google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
