So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
