The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize