Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
