i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
