david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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