I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
