He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
