I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
