I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize