You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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