It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pants are for mortals
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
