So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
