Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
