I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize