when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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