Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
