What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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