NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
