so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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