ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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