you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
