How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
