A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
