What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
