i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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