Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
