I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
