I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
