Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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