He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
