But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
