Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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