i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
