I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
