All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
