hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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