Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
