I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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