I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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