So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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