This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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