and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
