And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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