Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize