it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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