and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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