Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
