I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
