Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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