i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
