I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i think im in europe. pls send help
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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