After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
