i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Moan for me like Helen Keller
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
