my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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