The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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